from Sandy Needham

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Tulsa '07 Dispatch

December 8, 2007

You can see that I am determined to get through all my trip dispatches before our Christmas holiday begins with Jake's arrival in Natal in a few days. I am also itching to write about Brazil again, now that we've been home for a month. Here's the last dispatch from our five-week travel marathon:

This trip to Tulsa was primarily spent driving to Little Rock, Arkansas and back. My Mother's best friend since high school, Jean Richter, also 93, lives in a retirement community there. All the summers I was growing up my family participated in the annual "four couple reunion." This consisted of my Mother (Laurene), her twin brother Lawrence, Jean and her brother, Kenneth, and their spouses, all of whom went to Oklahoma State University together. They graduated in 1937. As you may know already, I was named after Jean: Sandra Jean. My fondest memories of these reunions were watching Jean draw pastel portraits of some of the attendees, including me! I was even inspired to try my hand at pastel portraiture as a teenager, but never pursued it further. My Mother still has two large oil paintings by Jean in her apartment at the Methodist Manor which hung at our house on 22nd Street: one of a zinnia still life, and one of a Colorado Rockies breakfast in a clearing of pines with the small but recognizable figure of my father in a baseball cap among these "four couples." We also have a pastel portrait by Jean of Elise at age three in a kimono from her Japanese preschool pageant. Needles to say, Jean was always one of my idols for art, but also for more: she was a professional journalist in Norman, Oklahoma and Garden City, Kansas, among other places. She is also, like my Mother, quite beautiful, as you can see in this photo, taken February 14th, 2006 on the 69th anniversary of Jean and her sweet husband, Cebert, who passed away last August.

The drive from Tulsa became increasingly hilly as we headed toward the Ozarks. I noted a marked change in people's accents, as well, as we stopped along the way for provisions. It was so much fun to visit Jean's cottage, in which she lives independently. Besides walls full of her paintings, she has a large collection of carnival glass and books describing the many unusual pieces she owns. We went to dinner at her daughter Holly's house 20 minutes away. En route, Jean pointed out some Little Rock sites, including the new Clinton library. (It is not so attractive architecturally, but Jean said it is very nice inside.) Holly and husband, Doug, live in a beautiful house they built themselves. I was in awe of all the unusual sinks they had found on the internet. I loved using the clear glass one where you can see your feet as the water goes down the pipes! They served an amazing spaghetti dinner with pecan pie, despite the fact they each have jobs and hobbies that take up more than seven days in a week. Back at Jean's house later, I settled in on the sofa bed while Mother and Jean had their slumber party in Jean's room. I had to wonder, considering that they both wear hearing aids they take out at night, if they could actually hear each other? Regardless of this question, I could hear the conversation down the hall going for a while and picking up the next morning, reminding me of overnights with my best friend in high school! I just adored sitting at the dining room table with them all morning in our pajamas, listening to their stories.

Back in Tulsa, even though my energy was flagging, I enjoyed running errands that took me through the old part of town, full of trees and mansions and about as pretty as a city gets. Mother and I took it easy with the Manor routine. She was experimenting with pain medications to alleviate an arthritic neck and a torn rotator cuff in her shoulder, so was experiencing the trade-offs of heavier doses. The annual talent show was coming up, so Mother was preparing jokes for her stand-up comedy routine, for which she is famous there. I always feel a little guilty that she gives up all of her bridge games when I visit, as this is her true gig! She is well cared for at the Manor, thank heavens, and totally adored by the staff, who appreciate her friendship. Mother has not taken up the computer, but is able to receive printed out e-mails via her phone on a Printing Mailbox from HP. We got a kick out of receiving more of Newton's 'Scenes from Asia' while I was there, though we were sorry that his cough was no better:

Korea: Looking at Koreans (John is one of them) trying to figure out what to do with 4 forks, 3 knives and 2 spoons at a formal Western dinner.

Korea: Back at the formal dinner – an image kept creeping up on me that I would start coughing with my mouth full of food and it would go everywhere. I guess I had nothing better to think about.

Japan: Having lunch today I saw this lonely Japanese guy order two beer bottles and two glasses of white wine all at once. He consumed it all during lunch, plus had tea to finish it off. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Japanese eat so much. They kept bringing one dish after another.

China: Riding the Maglev (train on magnetic tracks) at 431 Km/h (270 MPH) – what sensation!

To meet Newton, I flew from Tulsa by way of Houston and Newark to Madrid for one day and night there before returning to Brazil. Newton had connected from Tokyo through Paris. Just two flights to go now! Luckily our taxi drove through the gorgeous Plaza de Cibeles coming in and returning to the airport, because we were not in any condition for sightseeing! After waiting in a cafe for our room to be available, we crashed and slept the whole day. It was fun to wander through the crowded center that night and pick out a place for dinner, but we can't really say we know much about Madrid. I was sorry the Prado wasn't open in the middle of the night when I was awake! The upgrade to business class that Iberia Airlines bequeathed to us on the oversold 11-hour flight to São Paulo was just about the best gift we could imagine. The food, champagne, pampering service, and miraculously designed reclining seats were like a dream! The 7 hours at the São Paulo airport waiting till 3:00am for our delayed last leg to Natal sort of burst the bubble, but we did, indeed, get home - missing only one suitcase.

Love,
Sandy

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Manhattan Dispatch 2

December 5, 2007

This dispatch is dedicated to our friend Dick Taylor, who died on October 17th.

I had long since scheduled a lunch with Dick and Nancy Taylor in Manhattan. Dick had defied the doctor's predictions regarding his numbered days with lung cancer, and had decided to go out more while he could. He packed off on October 17th, oxygen tank and back-up in hand, to spend the evening doing what he loved: discussing life, politics, enjoying music with friends at a watering-hole-turned-salon by Dick. He simply returned home later, stepped inside the foyer and died with his wife and dog attending. He could not have written a better exit for himself, and we, his friends, feel proud that he went in such a fitting way. The lunch date was now with my grieving friend, Nancy.


Our time was short due to my extreme subway confusion after the bus from Nyack, but probably the right length of time in the end, once Nancy knew to go ahead and eat. We even got to ride the bus across town together for our next appointments. Nancy is one of the smartest, most intrepid, well-read, self-aware, sophisticated individuals I know (as in actually having seen many parts of the world beyond most people's imagination and learning all about them in depth). It was a privilege to have the time with her and witness the very conscious way in which she is experiencing the great loss of her true partner in an adventurous life. Since we would miss the celebration of Dick's life in November, I was glad to be back in those rooms at 96th and Park where we had gathered so many times for exotic meals inspired, for example, by a stay with an African tribe, or a trek across the desert to an oasis, 11 people in the car - including one between the driver and the door - and engine repairs involving chewing gum! Nancy always miraculously finds the necessary ingredients in Manhattan to replicate the dishes from faraway lands. Dick's celebration later featured wonderful readings and songs he, himself, had selected, including these two homages to his wife:

Allons! whoever you are, come travel with me!
Traveling with me, you find what never tires....
Be not discouraged—keep on—there are divine things, well envelop’d;
I swear to you there are divine things more beautiful than words can tell.
Allons! we must not stop here!

However sweet these laid-up stores—however convenient this dwelling, we cannot remain here....
Allons! with power, liberty, the earth, the elements!
Health, defiance, gayety, self-esteem, curiosity;
Allons! from all formulas!...

- from “Song of the Open Road” by Walt Whitman (1900)


Sonnet 29 ~ William Shakespeare (1609)
When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf Heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least:
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee,--and then my state
(Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.


Later I met my inimitable nephew Todd and his family at their apartment at 82nd and Columbus. Todd is from the Durango, Colorado Tarpley contingent of the family. He has been in Manhattan for years, working in cable television and interactive media. His darling wife, Jenny, is the Director of Admissions at the Studio School, where their two sons, Sam, 9, and Ethan, 6, attend. We took advantage of the mild October weather by having dinner outdoors at a delicioso Spanish restaurant on Amsterdam Avenue. Todd loves to write comedy scripts and funny children's books as a 'hobby,' and is best known in our extended family for his annual 'staged' family Christmas photos and his annual original comedy script for the Thanksgiving video at Donna's in New Jersey, starring everyone who shows up there! The boys are sharp and sweet and handsome.

I schlepped my suitcase on three more subways to get to my friend Carolyn's at 40th and Lexington - my hostess extraordinaire for that night and the next. I have known Carolyn since my first New York job in textiles in 1977. She retired many years ago and lives with her cat, Lucy. Carolyn is a walking encyclopedia of knowledge and my personal source of movie critiques - as she rarely misses any worth seeing. She just got a new lease on life with a new hip socket and fairly leaps around her apartment with great agility! Gabbing with Carolyn is part of the lifeblood of my adulthood. She can somehow turn our incredulity over the outrageousness of the current US government into high comedy with her well-aimed wit! Carolyn and I had an oishi Japanese dinner at our old haunt across the street from her apartment.

My friend from college days, Linda Calder (better known as 'Doyley'), actually took a day off work from her law firm and rode the train into Manhattan from Westhampton, Long Island to have lunch with me. The irony is that we never managed to do this in the decades after we both moved to suburban climes of the city - only faithful Christmas cards as our children were growing up. Since I just missed a reunion of college girlfriends last year right after moving to Brazil and the e-mails have been flying ever since, and because our mutual friend, Monica, visited me in Natal this September, we just had to see each other! We picked up where we left off, however long ago! We walked down to a little French restaurant, had a delicieu two-hour lunch, then walked across town all the way to Penn Station - catching up on our lives past and present all the while. Doyley just sent her only child off to college this fall, so has an empty nest as well.

In the meantime, Newton was e-mailing more 'Scenes from Asia:
Korea: Buying a bagel – comes with a small container of cream cheese and a spoon! If the bagel was at least cut the spoon wouldn’t be so bad.

Korea: Decided to have an espresso tonight in the fancy hotel across from mine – I almost fell out of the chair when I got the check: $12 for a single.

Korea: Check-in at the airport – “We X-ray checked luggage, so hang around for a while to be sure it is okay.” After 10 minutes I left the area hoping it was enough time!

Hong Kong: Riding the elevator 20 floors with 5 grown men chewing gum with their mouths open. Each time we stopped at some floor on the way down to the lobby I cringed.

I was off the next morning to catch a plane to Tulsa from Newark. Luckily, the airport shuttle bus was picking up by Grand Central again after discontinuing that location because of the steam pipe explosion nearby last July. This meant my calloused hands and creaking wrists would have a respite from dragging the suitcase on more subways. My flight to connect through Memphis was delayed, so they put me on the non-stop...quite all right!

Love,
Sandy

Monday, December 3, 2007

Nyack Dispatch

December 3, 2007

Sometimes I remind you that I am aware these dispatches may be entirely TMI. I persist in writing them because I enjoy it, and because they serve as my own record. I trust that any of you who prefer not to hear more will click on 'delete,' or speak sternly to the recipients who continue to encourage me!

My sister and brother-in-law drove me north to the home of my dear friend, Lucia, in our charming Hudson River village of Nyack. Lucia is the kindergarten teacher at the Blue Rock School and a longtime loyal friend and neighbor. We sat at her kitchen table gabbing and catching up all evening.

Lucia is a photographer, a consummate artist - particularly an exquisite quilter - and the sort of magical gardener who seems to just walk by and the flowers spring up! This is not to diminish her hard work at all of the above...she just makes it all seem easy! I have included a rare photograph of her (since she is usually the one with the signature camera around her neck) from last summer when she visited an orphanage in Tibet. I am accustomed to seeing her surrounded by children, as her classroom is next to the Blue Rock School office, which I managed and from where I directed admissions for six years before moving to Brazil.

On Monday morning we were off to Blue Rock! I got to spend the day among my friends, grown-up and young, at the school I have always considered a little piece of heaven. After lamenting and celebrating the inevitable changes of face and stature that mark the miraculous growth of children, I hung out in the school office with my beloved former assistant, Claudia. She is pictured here in the role of witch storyteller in the kindergarten - one of a thousand roles she fills! I got to spend a rare spell with my friend Caty, the busy school director and theatrical genius responsible for so much magic there; and I got to read the lunch story to the fifth graders - most of whom I've known since they were four years old! I assisted with quiet reading in the first grade, famous for its rambunctious boys, and remained for their sewing art project to witness in awe how every student was focussed on every stitch. The other photos show a mixed age group, and 6th/7th/8th graders trying out a contraption made in woodworking. You may not guess from these photos, but the students do well for the rest of their educational careers. The demands are great, just not the particular demand of spewing back on tests factual information with which one has been stuffed!





Claudia, Lucia and I went to dinner in Nyack. Next morning I lugged my suitcase around my former town before catching the bus to Manhattan. Our landlord, a doctor who has his office downstairs in the enormous house we rented from him - practically in the middle of town - had a 'for rent' sign up on the sidewalk. How sad that no one is living in that roomy, charming home that we just adored. I passed so many familiar places I used to frequent: the river gleaming in the sun; Hopper House gallery, where Edward Hopper grew up; the book store with ladders on a track; the Starbucks for a decaf espresso; my favorite clothing store - Maria Luisa, where I had a happy reunion with the store's namesake. I observed what was unchanged, plus what changes one year had brought to Main Street and Broadway, Nyack, NY.

This bus route to Manhattan affords a bird's-eye view of the river mansions in Piermont that slope down to the water. Good-bye, Nyack, until next time!

Love,
Sandy



Saturday, December 1, 2007

Maryland Dispatch

December 1, 2007

My trip to Penn Station in Manhattan with my rolling suitcase and ever-heavier carry-on bag became a harbinger of hardships to come. The ride was easy enough, my problem was with the number of times I was required to go up stairs, only to very soon go down again, as if it were all just a sick joke. I eventually faced three stories of up, but noticed that an escalator next to this staircase only required one flight down to access it, so down again it was. When at last I opened the door to the proper track for "Princeton Junction," the track was up one last flight of stairs. I had bruises on my thigh, hip and shin from various hoisting strategies.

My sister Donna is an exceptional human being who is indefatigable, fun-loving, generous of spirit, and forgiving. We are very different because of that law of the universe regarding siblings, but it is impossible not to feel good when one is around her! She met me at Princeton Junction, not to drive me to her home in Lawrenceville, NJ, but to drive me to her daughter's (and granddaughter's) house in Maryland. My wonderful brother-in-law, Larry, had to catch up on work, so Donna and I were off to see my niece Amy, her husband Sean, and the first grandchild in this family, Allison - 17 months.

Donna's calm and accomplished daughter, Amy, works for the Department of Energy in Washington, D.C.- three days in the office and two days from home, and Sean is a Washington lawyer. They live in a commuter's community in Gaithersburg, Maryland that has lovely house after lovely house, white picket fences, playgrounds, and a local shopping area that includes Whole Foods and a movie theater. Their daughter, Allison, the apple of my sister's eye, is at that age where she just loves to roam the spacious house, play her tunes and sing along, parrot everyone's talk and spend her days figuring out what is what. Donna is the grandma who composes songs about Allison and revives old Needham favs to Allison's delight and to the complete apoplexy of her son-in-law. It is a testament to their mutual devotion that she persists in singing and he persists in begging her to stop!

I hit the jet-lag wall that morning - a drained feeling that never fully left me the remainder of the trip - so drove the three hours with Donna and spent the weekend under a lethargic veil. Amy and Sean were the perfect hosts in their beautifully decorated house, and Allison persisted in entertaining us all with her developmental miracles, but I was a sort of lump! I still had a ways to go on this five-week marathon, and did, luckily, regain some wherewithal, but must admit to acquiescing all requirements of charm and entertainment that weekend to my grand-niece! As you can see, the redhead Allison is beyond words.

Donna and I drove back to Lawrenceville in time for Larry to jump into the driver's seat and drive us to my next destination 2 hours away (make that 2-1/2 with Sunday evening traffic): Nyack, New York. I always enjoy time with my brother-in-law, also a generous and fun fellow-traveler. Nyack is where I lived for 6 years before moving to Brazil, and is a town that holds a big piece of my heart.

Newton had begun writing his own observations from Asia:

Japan: Taking a crowded subway with lots of small children all dressed up alike. A woman protects them (at least 10 kids) with her arms around them from the people going in & out of the subway car. Maybe she’s afraid the kids will be pushed out of the train.

China: On an airplane I ask for beer – I get a warm Bud!

China: On an airplane - dinner is bread and warm beer; had to ask for a glass with ice!

Korea: Breakfast at the hotel is eggs with a hair & a hot dog; coffee finally comes halfway through breakfast; bad coffee too.

Korea: John (the Korean distributor) trying to be polite? Wants me to go to lunch first, I decline and tell him to go. A friend of his comes by later asking for John since they are supposed to have lunch together! I have a big lunch and finish at 2:00. At 5:00 John announces that he is taking me to dinner right then!! Had to force food down to be polite. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone with John.

More New York days to come.

Love,
Sandy
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