from Sandy Needham

Sunday, September 29, 2013

6-Week Dispatch: Oklahoma

We settled into the luxury of a three-night stay (no repacking for three whole days!) in my own Tulsa-town. We love the attic bedroom in the beautiful home and with the beautiful company of Vivian and Mike Nemec, who live in the same house where Vivian grew up just down the street from me. Sitting on her screened-in back porch in the morning and actually recognizing from my childhood the sweet summer smells of 22nd Street was sheer heaven. (The last time I was here - January of 2011 while Newton was in San Francisco - Vivian and Mike and I were stuck in the house for six days in a huge snowstorm. They were SO wonderful to me…even helping me dig my car out so I could eventually leave!)

Newton and I got to see my nephew Mark and his family, while meeting Jeremy, the fiance of my grandniece, Lainey. Best of all, we got to see some of the preparations for their upcoming wedding. What fun!

Here are Lainey and her little sister Taylor showing me the wedding gown; Lainey and Jeremy at their wedding in July (we had to miss it):
lainey's dresslainey & Jeremy
Lainey and her mother Jenny:                          Lainey and Mark:
Jenny & Laineymark & laine

I drove to the nearby town of Bartlesville to meet half-way (from Kansas) an old family friend I hadn’t seen in probably 50 years! Judy Richter Dillon is the daughter of Jean Richter, my Mother’s best friend and the reason for my own middle name! Judy is an actress and an avid genealogist, not to mention still a raving beauty. We met for lunch at the famous Price Tower, an office building designed by Frank Lloyd Wright, now used as a museum and hotel. Lunch was in the stunning Copper Bar. It was amazing to see Judy after becoming email friends in the last few years! Jean was 98 when she passed the very next month, after a magnificent life as a painter and journalist and incredible human (and my idol). Here are my Mother with my oldest sister Janet, and Jean Richter with Judy in 1941:

Judy Dillon and me Price Towermother jean janet judy

With the overriding theme of cousins this trip, I couldn’t miss my Tulsa cousin from the Needham side - Mary Kay Davies Grosvald (who grew up in California). We had lunch at the more-chic-than-ever Utica Square, just a short walk away. ‎She is Administrative Editor at the American Association of Petroleum Geologists. Mary Kay is always an inspiration to me, especially because she consciously chose to respond to her battle with cancer not as a victim, but with amazing fortitude and sanity. I’m so happy I get to see her from time to time.

I will be missing the official 49-year reunion of my beloved Woodrow Wilson Junior High School buddies at a Tulsa hotel this October. Most of us were born in ‘49; most of us are 64, and we graduated 9th grade in ‘64! Luckily, a group of alums were able to come to Vivian’s while we were there for an amazing summer evening picnic that Vivian single-handedly prepared. Jimmy Walker drove in from Texas so he could supply nine bottles of fine champagne! We enjoyed the international stories from opera singer, Linda Roark Strummer. Somehow, I just can’t see that mature lawyer guy as anyone but Little Jimmy Ferris I knew since 2nd grade! (He actually looks the same.) Annette Villines has the same figure she had in 9th grade. I got far too little a dose of Linda Butler Jones, a local favorite of mine who is a private investigator, and Jean Barsh Hatfield, who drove in from Oklahoma City. It is always a treat to see my Wilson homies. What a group!

The next event awaiting us was the Cousins Dinner in Oklahoma City. This is the same Cousins Dinner that had been arranged in January 2011, but got snowed out! I thought for sure we’d easily pull it off in June, but it did look iffy after that horrendous tornedo destroyed the nearby town of Moore. We drove our rental car across the flat, flat plains of the turnpike to Oklahoma City without spotting any funnels. Whew.
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The dinner was at the home of my cousin Diane McCracken Mueller and her husband David. You may be tired of hearing this, but I have barely seen Diane in my adult life and even when I did, it was in a big crowd. Her father, Uncle Lawrence, was my mother’s twin brother, and she and I used to visit each other in Oklahoma City and Tulsa every summer. Diane is a retired schoolteacher. It was so fun to see her house for the first time and find out that she, like me, is a very visual person. There were all sorts of stunning colors accented by black and white to delight my eyes! Her sister Linda, whom we had just seen in Texas, drove up; unfortunately, my cousin Carolyn McCracken Aten had gotten sick after our Mexican dinner together in Fort Worth, Texas, and couldn’t make it. Her sister, Kathy McCracken Brasel, also couldn’t make it, so I still need to see her again some day! Their brother, Tad McCracken (known as Don now, after my Uncle) DID make it! He is an adorable butcher. I had brunch with his three lawyer children in New York City a couple of years back, but cannot say when I last saw him! We got to meet his lovely new wife, Sheila. Another long-lost cousin, Jesse McCracken (son of my Uncle Wilson), arrived with his wife Diane. He works as a Federal Marshal for the courts in Guthrie, Oklahoma. I am always amazed to remember years ago when I was a cheerleader in high school and our basketball team went to the state finals in Oklahoma City, I ran into Jesse at the game! He was in the Navy at that time. Like I said, adult cousin sightings have been rare! Arriving with her incredible, signature spunk after nearly dying from an infection just a few short months ago was my cousin Norma Crossley Neal, one of my Aunt Mildred’s twin daughters. Her husband Harold, who is taking good care of her, came as well. Norma is an accomplished amateur comedienne who claims there are only two things that separate her from Dolly Parton. It took me a couple of seconds to get that, but she claimed that Harold will not let her get breast augmentation surgery despite the recent sale advertised in the newspaper! I must say, she kept the table in stitches the entire evening with her dry wit and impeccable timing. Her fraternal twin sister Mary lives in California.

You can see people are recording notes about the relatives below. Norma brought everyone a set of old family photos, which inaugurated the discussion of our family tree.

Cousin Jesse and wife Diane, Cousin Linda and Tad’s wife Sheila;  Sheila again, Cousin Tad, and Cousin Norma: 
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Cousin Diane and Norma’s husband, Harold:   
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Newton started an online family tree on My Heritage for the family. We were picking everyone’s brains for names and dates! Jesse’s wife wowed the crowd by reciting the name and birth date of each of her many grandchildren for us!

We had some fun trying to name all of my Grandfather McCracken’s sisters, as he was the only boy of nine: Pearl, Jessie, Molly, Lizzy, Sarah, Etta, Flora, and Mary Jane.


Notice the old woman in the center of the photo below. That is Della Griffith Brown, my great-grandmother. What I did not know is that my very lily white grandmother, her daughter Dollie Brown, who died the day my mother and my Uncle Lawrence were born in 1914, had a brother who was tall, bronze, with straight black hair – very Native American looking. (My cousin Linda knew him.) I had never heard this. Apparently Great-Grandmother Brown had at least some blood of the Kickapoo Tribe…which means I have indigenous blood, too! It was quite an exciting revelation for me to imagine I’m not as boring white bread as I thought! I believe this information was not commonly known to us because of the forced assimilation of the tribe and the practice of not always claiming Native status in those days.

mother's family

In this photo are all the cousins’ parents: Back row, left to right: my mother’s twin, Lawrence; their older sister, Mildred; my mother, Laurene; their older brother, Wilson. Front row l to r: my step-grandmother, Maud Hill McCracken; my great-grandmother, Della Brown with my Uncle Donald on her lap; my grandfather, Walter Thomas McCracken.

I love the way some look so serious in the photo, but my mother and my grandfather cannot suppress their smiles! Perhaps my step-Grandmother Maud felt ambivalent about having the mother of her husband’s deceased first wife visiting? Or maybe Maud loved having Della’s help with the four step-children she inherited (about nine years before this photo when the twins were two), and I’m misreading her body language completely. She’s was always Grandmother to me!

Especially because I had seen so little of my cousins since we grew up, I found it endlessly fascinating to hear their stories, study their features for the resemblances, recognize what family traits we share, and connect again AT LAST!! It was fantastic.

Next (and last) stop on this 6-week sojourn: Colorado.

Love,
Sandy

Monday, September 9, 2013

6-Week Dispatch: Texas

motel signMy rendezvous with Newton in Austin, Texas occurred very late at night, so the only flavor of the city we perceived was the 1950's ambiance of the wonderful Austin Motel. It wasn't until the next morning when we ventured out for coffee that we discovered we were in the middle of the hippest street in town (South Congress), surrounded by great-looking young sophisticates, Texas-style! Unlike Los Angeles, where the “perfect looking” people are self-conscious about being thin and fit and waiting to be discovered, these happy people are healthy and fit in an enthusiastic, unskinny way. The young women look terrific in short shorts and cowgirl boots! And what's better than a Tex-Mex breakfast? This famous oasis city in a rather coo-coo state is ecologically devoted (don't tell the oil men!), tolerant (don't tell the preacher-men!), fun-loving, and a music capital of formidable renown. Much credit goes to the University of Texas here, whose panache overpowers the stench emanating from the state capitol. I can dump on Texas because my state of Oklahoma is not exactly the picture of sanity.

South Congress Avenue offered wonderful shops and restaurants, little street markets with extraordinary crafts, lots of characters and a general vibe of good will. Here’s the most active hat store we had ever seen…at night!

hat shop

We had a great dinner at Perla restaurant and headed over for the highlight of our visit: music at the Continental Club. We had walked only a few blocks from the Austin Motel along South Congress all day, and were now just across the street!

I will spare words and just let you look and listen to first, “Hot Club of Cowtown” – a first class act (sorry the sound gets a bit muffled half-way through):

Hot Club of Cowtown

And second, the closing act from the countryside, the “Carper Family:”

The Carper Family

And these Austin people DANCE, man, and the men really LEAD!! I just loved the dancing.

Newton had a trade show and I had a personal guide: another long-lost cousin, Linda McCracken Knight. She is the daughter of my Mother's twin brother, Lawrence. Linda lives an hour from Austin in Temple, Texas, so picked me up for a cousins' day around Austin. Because she is a couple of years older, she was always hanging out with my sister Donna growing up, while I hung out with her younger sister Diane. Then, as adults, we've only seen each other rarely and at big reunions with dozens of people, so have had very little time together, ever.  We discovered the ultimate ice-breaker: shopping for bathing suits! It was a day full of laughs and ultimate pledges of non-disclosure! I can see why she and my Mother always had a good time together. She is…this is my highest compliment for a person…a pisser. Indomitable and generous; more on this soon, as Newton and I spent the night with her and her husband in Temple a few nights later.

photo boothAs part of the trade show, a party was offered at the “Austin City Limits” theater, of Public Television fame. The performance was by the 9-time Grammy Award-winning group, “Asleep at the Wheel.” Our last night was celebrated with a Bluegrass party thrown by Newton’s company and several partners, featuring the “Wood and Wire” band. Here we are in the photo booth shot:

Then we headed out to The White Horse, where locals come to DANCE and DANCE, and DANCE some more! I was in heaven watching the couples casually and happily trading off and mixing after fancy footwork through each live number. The vibe was so fun and relaxed and free of pick-up bar tension – I had never seen anything like it. Here’s a shot of the band; the dance floor was soon to be filled to the brim.

White Horse

the AlamoNext stop was San Antonio, Texas. This city used to be most famous for the Alamo, an old mission that figured significantly in the battle between Texas and Mexico in 1836 (it’s really small). Now the bigger highlight of San Antonio is their beautiful River Walk, a pedestrian haven that runs for miles along the San Antonio River. Lots of restaurants, shops, some open tour boats and shade keep the many pedestrians (missing from my photos) content, even in the 90-something summer temperature.

River Walk 3

Riverwalk20River walk 4Newt River walk

We stayed at the lovely Havana Hotel, where the pink refrigerator stole the show.

Havana Hotel San Anton frig

Cassio playingNext was a night in Houston, where our dear friends from Natal, Rossana and Cassio and daughter Olivia, had just moved. Cassio Duarte is a fabulous percussionist, and has found the Brazilian/Latin music scene lively there. Rossana works at the Brazilian consulate, and Olivia goes to middle school. We stayed at their lovely temporary rental, but are happy to report that they now own one of those beautiful and incredibly reasonable homes that dominate the southwest Houston suburbs. I believe we were all so focused on the real estate listings that Newton and I forgot to take a current photo of our friends. Here they are in Natal a few years back.

 

 

Cassio's houseDuarte fam

Stan & FamMy childhood friend from elementary and junior high school, Stan Clark, and his wife Pam hosted us all in nearby Sugarland for an incredible brunch. Here is Stan and his family (yes, Pam looks like another daughter…she’s in green!). Thanks to all of you for your Houston hospitality!

 

 

 

Walter McCrackenOK – next stop was Temple, Texas at the extraordinary home of cousin Linda and Wade Knight.  Wade is a cardiothoracic surgeon extraordinaire. He won't retire until he finds one physician partner who will not have sex on the premises of the office with those pharmaceutical company beauties sent to sell drugs. The last partner was literally shot in the butt by his wife (because he turned). Oh, the Bible Belt. Linda is a retired nurse and community educator/volunteer. She has made their gorgeous old mansion a virtual museum of antiques and collections of all sorts – it is amazing. I took a photo of her photo of our Grandfather McCracken, whom my son resembles.

But the best part was visiting their farm on the outskirts where they are building their home for retirement. We all went out there after a Mexican Sunday brunch in town and had some real farm time. Linda plopped us down in the John Deere ‘Gator’ vehicle to go check on the escaped cows. She had Newton drive, even though he drove uncharacteristically slowly, hoping not to land us in the creek beds that cropped up instantaneously! Because we wanted to ascertain whether a calf had been born, Linda, upon seeing a cow in repose, jumped out of the Gator in her gold leather sandals and white jeans and traipsed over in mud/manure to check out the cow. No calf, but quite the laundry question for those jeans. I told you Linda is a pisser. She has a get-it-done energy and a generosity that seem boundless. And I revisit nostalgically plenty of my Uncle Lawrence in her demeanor.

farm 2farm 6

farm 3farm 4

old bellHere I am ringing the old bell that used to be on our grandfather’s farm in Oklahoma City:

Wade finds refuge from his intense career by piloting his new tractor - complete with air conditioning and a sound system in the cabin! – to gather bales of hay from the field and deposit them on the property’s edge for pick-up. Seems like work to me, but peaceful work.

farm 1

farm 5

Joe T. garcias 1Joe T. garcias 2Time to head for Dallas/Fort Worth to see another long-lost cousin (are you sensing a theme here?). Carolyn McCracken Aten is the daughter of my Mother’s younger brother, Donald, and married to the adorable Darrel Aten. She is a retired teacher and consultant; Darrel is an IT consultant. Like Linda, Carolyn is a little older then me, so hung out more with my older sister Dorothy growing up than with me. I have also hardly seen her in our adult years, apart from largely populated reunions and most recently, at Mother’s funeral, where Carolyn and her sister Kathy so kindly provided the food. I was determined to see her for a sit-down at this late date. We went to one of Fort Worth’s most famous Mexican restaurants, Joe T. Garcia’s, where spacious beauty and deliciousness reign. I revisit my calm, beautiful Aunt Katie in Carolyn’s demeanor. Daryl is a wonderful raconteur who entertained us with stories aplenty. Thanks for our brief Dallas/Fort Worth sojourn and your great hospitality!

Next stop: Oklahoma! (“where the wind comes sweepin’ down the plain; where the wavin’ wheat can sure smell sweet when the wind comes right behind the rain.”)

Love,

Sandy (or more appropriately, Sandra, as my cousins call me)

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