Wedding Dispatch

There was a bus to take wedding guests from the hotel in Tarrytown, New York to the Sleepy Hollow Country Club for Jake and Larissa's wedding. The first thing I saw when Newton and I boarded the bus was two of my closest friends smiling and chatting enthusiastically...except, Lucia Gratch and Nancy Taylor had never met! They sat down next to each other, immediately perceived the fabulousness of the other, then discovered that they went to the same school in Michigan! My joy at these two human gems becoming friends could not be separated from the joy of the evening that ensued: buoyant conviviality on a luminous Hudson River summer night, with Jake and Larissa becoming husband and wife! The wedding was perfect.

The Vanderbilt family estate that became the Sleepy Hollow Country Club offers a magnificent setting on the river. Larissa's good taste was evident everywhere, from the elegant flower arrangements to the exquisite colors that came together with the bridesmaids, to her stunning wedding gown and classic, chic chignon. She was a dazzling bride.

Here are Elise and Zak, my friend Lucia's son, about to lead the wedding party down the aisle.

The two front rows feature my precious relatives
              

Alan Rosenberg, a "blood brother" from Camp Unirondack - where Jake and Larissa met - officiated the ceremony with encouraging words and an English literature teacher's aplomb.

Jake is the very incarnation of grace and coolness. I just love the way he was so calm, so engaged, and so happy with the day and with his bewitching bride. He is such a composed, confident, fun-loving and utterly cool guy. I am very proud.

Here they are with Larissa's grandfather, Sylvan, and mother, Danya.

Here they are with Larissa's dad, Bruce, and stepmother, Vicky.

This group was SO darling and fun.

Cocktails and hors d'oeuvres were served on the lawn. There were spectacular friends and relatives all around, yet frustration at such fleeting time to really engage with them. I wanted so much to hold on to the evening and to them!

L to R: Our fabulous grandniece Emily Tarpley from San Diego; Elise's close friend, the creative Stephanie Janecek from NYC; Ken McPherson, the adorable husband of my first cousin, the incomparable Cynthia Needham - seated next to him, from Stowe, VT; and my one-in-a-billion sister, Donna Needham Wilder of Lawrenceville, NJ.

Our ingenious brother-in-law, Larry Wilder, of Lawrenceville, NJ; our nieces: beloved HS German teacher, Sara Wilder of Freehold, NJ, and the most promising face government will ever have, Amy Wilder Sweeney of Gaithersburg, Maryland.

Beautiful Elise with our grandnieces, the astute Allison and the big reader Paige Sweeney of Gaithersburg, Maryland.

   

My inspiring sister Janet Needham Kohler of Denver with her granddaughter, teenager extraordinaire Lauren Hall of Phoenix.

Our grandnephew, another teenager extraordinaire Samuel Tarpley and our brilliant nephew, Todd Tarpley (the children's author!) of Manhattan.

Our longtime partners-in-crime: Guadalupe and Joe Warren of Cleveland, Ohio and Buenos Aires.

More longtime partners-in-crime: textile designer par excellence - David Barrow of Easton, Connecticut, and world citizen par excellence - Nancy Taylor of Manhattan.

When we gathered inside for dinner, Jake and Larissa landed this big dance surprise (like I said, the very picture of grace and coolness!). Watch till the end, where there are a couple of ambitious flourishes:

See if you can name who is singin' this swingin' version of "Wonderwall" with these obviously consummate musicians (answer below*).

We were surprised, amazed, and have very high expectations for Larissa and Jake's dancing future. (Something to fall back on.) Five lessons or no five lessons, not everyone can dance like that!

The Best Man, Charlie Wettlaufer, brought his special brand of wit: during the ceremony he initially pulled a banana shaker (from the rehearsal dinner) out of his pocket in lieu of the wedding rings. During this toast, he characterized the first evening the wedding party got together in Manhattan at a raucous Broadway show, then closed a bar at 4:00am with choral singing - as "a quiet evening at the theater."

A sumptuous dinner was served.

My big sisters Donna and Janet.

Grandniece Emily Tarpley with her second cousins (or something like that) Sara Wilder, Allison Sweeney and Elise.

Our  very fun nephew-in-law, Sean Sweeney of Gaithersburg, Maryland; our lovely niece, SW Airlines' best: Amanda Hall of Phoenix with her daughter Lauren; our multi-talented, intrepid niece-in-law, Jennifer Tarpley of Manhattan. 

With my phenomenal friend Lucia Gratch of Nyack, NY.

Our grandnephews, the singular Ethan and Samuel Tarpley of Manhattan, with our niece Amy Sweeney and her daughters Allison and Paige. 

Joe and Guadalupe Warren with my longtime friend Helen Webb, designer par excellence and wife of David Barrow, of Easton, Connecticut.

To add to Larissa and Jake's duck collection!

Samurai Groom

After dinner, we all had turns on the dance floor and turns at the funny photo booth:

Dancing to Bruce Springstein (Larissa's Dad's doppelgänger!).

            Ugg, shoes. (With Anthony Strube of NYC and Thomas Schulzee of Germany). 

                                                               















                                                                                                         Sis and Bro, Larry and Donna Wilder.           

Amelia Barrow, yet another teenager extraordinaire, with her parents Helen Webb and David Barrow.

Helen Webb, Nancy Taylor and Amelia Barrow.

The band was great!

Shenanigans with Bruce and Vicky Plotsky and friend.

Cutting the rug in turquoise behind Larissa and Jake: Lena, Larissa's Scottish grandmother from Sarasota, FL. 

Pirated version of Elise and Stephanie Janecek

Wild men

Here's the gang who all met at Camp Unirondack, camping it up in the fun photo booth.

In character (I mean it!), David Barrow, Joe & Guadalupe Warren, Helen Webb

Another banana shaker opportunity.

The darling groomsmen never missed a chance to reveal how they are totally at the top of their game! (Can you tell they were recently in Vegas?) (Oh, banana shaker siting.)

Well, if six hours of merrymaking had to be compressed into two hours - which is precisely the way I perceived the whole event - I must say that the wedding was pure mirth - intensified. If only it could have lasted 24 hours! Otherwise, like I said: perfect.

Here's my toast to Larissa and Jake: 

What is better than a kindred couple? You two are superb together, and I congratulate you both and all of us on our good fortune. 

I cannot wait till our next chance for fun together!

Love,

Sandy

*Paul Anka

Rehearsal Dinner Dispatch

So, speaking of enchanted summer nights, the Hudson River provided the romantic backdrop for two memorable evenings of Jake and Larissa's wedding festivities.

The first night was the Rehearsal Dinner for the wedding party, held after the actual rehearsal at the wedding venue. The beautiful Harvest-on-Hudson restaurant in Hastings, NY was the dinner location. They have their own garden for herbs and vegetables used in their seasonal dishes, and this provided the setting for the cocktail hour in the glow of the retiring sun.

The parents-of-the-groom are traditionally in charge of this event. I decided to introduce a Brazilian theme and render the ambiance somewhat casual ahead of the more elegant wedding to come. I found matching card stock and envelopes on my trip to civilized Rio with which to make the invitations. As you can see, there was a fruit theme:

(There was another banana accenting the inside of the card.) Most of the wedding participants received their invitations mailed from Brazil, though it took over three weeks for them to arrive.

Newton and I bought baskets and loads of fresh fruit on the day of, arriving early to make arrangements for the tables:

You will notice that there is a banana at each place setting. These are the 'banana shakers' (percussion 'ganzás' or 'chocalhos' in Brazil) that I discovered online after being unable to secure 32 artisan-made instruments in Natal. These were ideal because Jake is known among his friends for his famous banana costume!...and because they had a surprisingly professional sound.

Now, back to the garden with a fantastically fun and engaging group of friends and relatives:

Larissa, Jake, and Zak - groomsman, Jake's high school friend, and son of one of my best friends, Lucia:

Larissa's paternal Scottish grandmother, Lena, from Florida, and maternal grandfather, Sylvan, from Albany, NY:

                                                            Larissa's mother, Danya, from Albany, with two friends:

Larissa's dad, Bruce, and stepmother, Vicky, from Clarksville, NY:

Alan, former Activities Director at Camp Unirondack (where Jake and Larissa met) - the officiator of the wedding ceremony - and his wife, Pilar, from Baltimore:

                                                                           Sarah, Maid-of-Honor, and Erica, Larissa's college friends from Boston:

      












Kira, bridesmaid and Larissa's grad school friend from Idaho, and Charley, Best Man - Jake and Larissa's Camp Unirondack friend from Buffalo who was also their Las Vegas housemate until recently:

Doug, groomsman - Jake's poker buddy and sometime roommate, from Las Vegas, with his girlfriend, Kaitlin:

                                                                          The "Two Emily's" bridesmaids, from Granville, NY and Ventura, CA, with friend Jason:

Thomas, groomsman - Jake's poker buddy from Germany, and Erica, bridesmaid, Larissa's college friend from Ontario:

Elise, sister-of-the-groom and bridesmaid, from Los Angeles, with friend Stephanie from NYC:

                                     Stephanie again, with Stephen, groomsman and Jake's middle and high school friend, from Loveland, Colorado:

Alex, Jake and Larissa's Camp Unirondack friend from London, with Kira again:

Newton, father-of-the-groom!

After cocktails, we all gathered in the private dining room for dinner. We started out with a 'banana shaker' lesson from me, accompanied by Brazilian samba music which continued throughout the evening. I learned the proper way to play a ganzá with the samba beat by studying Brazilian musicians very closely!

The blond in the black shirt on the right side of the table is Anthony, the 6th groomsman needing to be introduced - Jake's middle and high school friend, from NYC.

Larissa's Grandmother Lena was actually the sharpest pupil of the banana shaker! We all had the chance to try them out repeatedly between the courses, not to mention dance a little samba while we were at it.

The food was wonderful - four courses of tasty offerings, along with delicious Italian and California wines. We sure had a lot of fun, which continued afterwards back at the hotel in Tarrytown, NY. Luckily, Jake provided a bus to transport this convivial group between venues and the hotel, both nights. 

Wedding Eve!!

Love,
Sandy

Pre-Wedding Dispatch

Our trip for Jake and Larissa's wedding began with an extra connection from São Paulo to Newark: a propeller plane from Washington D.C. The problem was that soon after take-off one prop stopped working. We had a disconcerting view of a motionless propeller out the window and a necessary landing in Baltimore, but the pilot maintained straight and level, bless 'm. We tangled with the morass that was United Airlines trying to put everyone on a bus or a train to Newark, opting for the train which could drop us earlier in Trenton, nearer our weekend destination at my sister and brother-in-law's, Donna and Larry's, near Princeton. 

Donna and Larry's hospitality remains unparalleled, especially for the already travel-weary. A 'Larry martini' is still equivalent to a week at a spa; the champagne that flows is not the cheap stuff that gives you leg cramps; yes - I ate my first grilled filet mignon in 19 years and loved it - oh, with fresh New Jersey white corn-on-the-cob and strawberry shortcake (I thought I'd die of summer joy). Our niece, their daughter Sara came over to join us and help me out with wedding clothes possibilities.

We spent the next afternoon at Seward Johnson's fabulous "Grounds for Sculpture" in nearby Hamilton. As I mentioned in last year's dispatch, he is the octogenarian, eccentric part-heir to the Johnson and Johnson fortune. He is known for his realistic bronze figures that startle passers-by around the world. The restaurant area is set in the tranquil replication of Monet's Garden at Giverny. There are several of Seward's installations nearby. We then embarked upon the acres of manicured natural beauty and sculptures by other artists, as well, that were missed last year in a rainstorm.

It is just as hard to believe from up-close, live, that this young woman's towel and clothing are also made of bronze! 

Here is the lovely and evocative Nine Muses by Carlos Dorrien:

Seward Johnson's giant Marilyn finally exposes the hitherto implicit rear view!

Dinner was Italian, at a local favorite of Donna and Larry's, Vidalia. It was another perfect summer night.

I will warn you that I will rhapsodize about summer nights throughout the dispatches from this wedding trip, as the dark descends on our evenings in the Northeast of Brazil at 5:30pm in the winter (now) and 6:00pm in the summer. That late evening summer light in the US takes me back irresistibly to endless childhood summer eves, playing hide-and-seek till 9:00 with an entire neighborhood of kids of all ages while fireflies and june bugs provided visual and olfactory accents! I will always be in love with that long summer evening light. 

On Monday morning we caught the train to Manhattan for three days of wedding clothes-hunting and the nourishment Manhattan offers the souls of devotees. I had to give up on the turquoise silk mother-of-the-groom dress I was trying to sew in Brazil; house construction headaches, the World Cup raging, sewing/dying problems and schedule squeezes prompted my decision to go to 'Plan B:' shop in New York City at the incredible second-hand shops. I will adapt that attempted dress into a non-wedding dress to use in Brazil, which means the problematic sleeve can now be sleeveless and the non-matching turquoise bottom panel of crepe chiffon can now be black. (A week of bleaching and soaking the turquoise crepe chiffon in ever-stronger red hibiscus tea to tweak the color enough to match the turquoise silk resulted in the phenomenon of a color that WOULD NOT BUDGE. Hats off to the most permanent color I have ever encountered.)

This was our first time to stay in the Chelsea neighborhood, and we loved it. The Leo House - a Catholic 'hotel' on 23rd between 8th and 9th which has been recommended by a couple of friends - proved economical, convenient, and requiring only the removal of the room's hanging crucifix for total comfort. I had a list of the best second-hand shops in the area, so off we went on the sidewalks of New York - the whole point, always! Newton found a great Ralph Lauren suit right away which required tailoring for the pants, but turned out perfectly. I finally found my dress replacement on the third day - whew. It fit like a glove and was so very beautifully made - even the lining was silk. 

We loved happening upon places like this mid-block tavern for lunch:

The Blanche de Chambly was a perfect draft beer for summer! 


Can you believe my beloved girlfriend, Flavia, from Natal was in NYC just then? We met for a great lunch at Chelsea Market on Tuesday while Newton went off to New Jersey for a meeting with his partners. She recommended a tapas bar half a block from our hotel none-too-soon; we were too exhausted to walk any further for dinner that evening, and it was our favorite! 
El Quinto Pino on 24th at 9th Avenue.




I went uptown to Seigo Neckware to buy Newton's promised Father's Day wedding tie. I had recently read an article in the NY Times about the Japanese man who hand sews his ties from Japanese silk. Our dear friend Pierre had already sent a handsome silk handkerchief for Newton and a small pearl purse for me. With the handkerchief in hand, I marveled at the gorgeous selection and bought the perfect tie. I also bought a pink polka-dot birthday tie for Jake's honeymoon cruise; such a marvelous place for someone who loves selecting ties!

This photo is sneaked in from the future - Jake on cruise!

The wedding plot thickened on Wednesday evening with the family gathering in from points north and west for an early dinner at Carmine's in Times Square, ahead of a show:

Then followed "Avenue Q," an hilarious X-rated muppet musical. Several from the wedding party and some poker friends joined us (in from Las Vegas, North Dakota, Puket, Thailand and Germany!). 

Against our better judgment, we joined this happy team of partiers after the show and persevered till 4:00am, when we made our lone departure via subway. 

Thursday morning we only had to drag our luggage and newly-tailored suit over to 6th Avenue to catch the Path Train to Hoboken, NJ to pick up our rental car. Here is a nice view of Manhattan from Hoboken:

We then headed north along the Hudson River to Rockland/Westchester Counties to prepare for Friday's Rehearsal Dinner for the wedding party. Being in charge, as the groom's parents, we visited the charming venue on the river to select the wines and plan the table arrangements for the event. 

All was moving quickly now; wedding momentum underway!

Love,
Sandy